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Sceen-heard Halloween
Who ya gonna call?
Try these spooky services.
Jusstine Kenzer ala PsychicGirl talks with the dead and passes along their wisdom to her clients. “We all have spirits around us,” claims Krista Allen, co-star of the upcoming movie Anger Management. “Jusstine can see hem. I ask her about auditions. It’s fun.” Kenzer does readings and healings via instant message.
Illustration by John Ueland for TIME
The Psychic Secrets of 2009 Revealed!
Thursday, Jan. 08, 2009
By JOEL STEIN
Plenty of journalists put together their 2009 predictions by consulting with economists, historians, pundits and the most annoying person they can find (for Oscar guesses). I got mine from Jusstine Kenzer, who is known as Psychic Girl and has done her $200 readings for Eva Longoria, Ellen DeGeneres and the cast of Friends, though I’m not that impressed with the last one. You don’t need extra-sensory abilities to say, “I see a lot of terrible movies in your future.”
I met Kenzer at a friend’s Christmas brunch. Four years of living in Los Angeles, it turns out, does not begin to prepare you for the answers you get to the question “What do you do for a living?” Compared with “psychic,” “mobile spray tanner” and “Hugh Hefner’s third girlfriend,” writing about yourself for a newsmagazine seems totally legitimate.
Like most psychics, Kenzer gets her information by communicating with dead people. I personally would talk to the yet unborn about the future and use the dead for questions about history, but that’s why I’m not a prediction expert. Dead people, I would think, are probably clueless about what’s going on in the present, let alone the future. Though maybe that’s just because I think of them as super-old people. To start the process, Kenzer paused to tune into me. Then she told me that I’m attached to ascended masters and that one of these mentors is Abraham Lincoln. I think I was supposed to be excited about this, but it’s not as if I’m constantly dealing with civil wars or freeing slaves. If I’m going to have someone dead guiding me, I’d like it to be someone with a better sense of fun, like Caligula or Malcolm Forbes.
My first question for Kenzer’s dead friends was about the recession. While many economists are predicting recovery at the end of 2010, the dead people were pointing her toward a far more realistic 2012. Kenzer sees a lot of companies going bankrupt this year. “I get a purple color and the letter a,” she said. I figured that was Yahoo!, but she said no. “They’re doing all kinds of things behind closed doors to not die.” Some of those things, I predict, are opening lots and lots of credit-card accounts. When I asked if TIME magazine would have a good year, she said, “There’s no issue there. There’s an incredible strength behind it. There is one particular person who is connected to this strength. He has a very solid energy. It doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere.” She said this person is probably managing editor Richard Stengel, and while she didn’t specifically say he and his family would come into a lot of unexpected money this year, I figure it’s best to keep that guy as happy as I can.
I had made some of my own predictions before I called Kenzer–for instance, that Sarah Palin would do a daytime talk show, a reality show or a seminude Playboy spread. But Kenzer says Palin will go gently into that 19-hour Alaskan night. “This year she’ll just pop up in interviews. There doesn’t look like a huge energy in entertainment or politics. But she’s in no way done.” And Kenzer doesn’t see a wedding anytime soon for Levi Johnston. “That guy is terrified. He is not in a stable place. I’m going to send him a little healing, poor thing.”
Though she didn’t have a great sense of whom the governor of New York would name to fill Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat, when I asked her about baseball, she didn’t hesitate to answer, “I don’t get a great energy around the Yankees. I see this symbol, and it’s a no energy.” When I screamed, “Oh, crap!” I thought Kenzer might have tuned into my spirit and sensed disappointment. But she kept going: “I get a better energy for the Red Sox–like, a really good energy around the Red Sox for this year.” I think Kenzer was just mad at me for making fun of Jennifer Aniston. Which she knew about because she’s a psychic.
Because Kenzer is more of a “personal transformation girl” than a Nostradamus-type prophet, she was eager to get into my personal life. When we talked about my wife Cassandra’s pregnancy, I ran some baby names by her and she decisively picked Laszlo. “I’m just looking at the spirit of the kid,” she said. I’m not sure how a 5-month-old fetus puts out the spirit of a 70-year-old Hungarian cinematographer, but apparently ours does. I also think Kenzer spent a lot of time at brunch talking to Cassandra, who’s a little obsessed with making our baby special. I’m just hoping that he isn’t so special that he’s psychic. Because as nice as Kenzer is, I don’t want my son burdened with this much information about the future. Especially since he’s going to be spending most of his time spelling his name for people.
A PsychicGirl Approved Alternative Healing Event
IONS Institute of Noetic Sciences Los Feliz
presents DAN NELSON
Theoretical physicist and Inventor
If you personally know me and have shared a meal with me, these are the disks I use to clean up what I eat and drink! -Justine
Have you ever wondered how your life would change if you got control of your own health? Dan Nelson, professor and astrophysicist-turned private researcher from Helena, Montana, will demonstrate his revolutionary techniques of the future that could forever change the face of self-healing. His solid state technology has provided the tools to achieve a higher, more realized perfect state of health. Dan’s invention has been proven to change the frequencies from disease to health, and to provide a way to protect oneself from harmful emotional, environmental, and physical toxins – what Dan refers to as changing and protecting the energy field around us. Dan’s protocols have proven that the fundamental root causes of health problems can be cancelled, changing the very frequencies from disease to health.
This is a hands on workshop in which every participant will get a chance to use this simple, easy-to-master technology and learn to do the protocol with others.
FREE INTRODUCTORY LECTURES:
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3RD 7:00PM at THE MEETING ROOM
2999 OVERLAND AVENUE, SUITE 205, Los Angeles,CA, 90064
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4th, 7:00PM at the AETHERIUS SOCIETY
GEORGE KING CENTER, 6202 AFTON PLACE, LOS ANGELES, CA 90028
WEEKEND WORKSHOP:
SATURDAY & SUNDAY DEC. 5th & 6th
all day workshops at the
LOS FELIZ TOWERS – GARDEN ROOM – 4455 LOS FELIZ BLVD.
$50.00 PER PERSON PER DAY
There are still a few openings available for private consultations
RSVP and for further information
contact: Sandy Johnson 323.664.0044 or sandy@sanjohns.com
“I met a little girl who had cystic fibrosis. She was five years old. Where did she get cystic fibrosis? And why she and not all the other little kids around her? I’ll tell you why. It came through the field. And I was amazed when I analyzed this little girl that the condition, or the particular set of symptoms we refer to as cystic fibrosis, is entirely emotional. I couldn’t believe it. This condition is entirely emotional in nature. So I’ve developed something as a physicist. It’s just energetic. It takes 20 minutes. I did this procedure with her on a Saturday afternoon and the next morning she was symptom-free and she’s been symptom-free for over six years now. She had a very severe energy field distortion.” – Dan Nelson
Originally published in FLAUNT Magazine NOV 2003
TALKING TURKEY
Some random, spiritual and ecology turkey facts: Turkeys have been around for ten million years. Their heads change colors when they get excited. Their feathers were used by Native Americans to stabilize arrows. Sesame Street‘s “Big Bird” costume is made of turkey feathers. Most turkey feathers are composted. Wild turkeys spend the night in trees, they especially like oak trees. Turkeys can have heart attacks, While the United States Air Force was doing test that broke the sound barrier…nearby turkeys dropped dead. Commercial breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that the turkeys fall over.
Aries: Thanksgiving dinner you stuff yourself and settle in to watch the game, but are ready to jump into action when your current paramour invites you play a game of nude touch ball. You finally are invited to sit at the “adult” table but your young cousins and their hottie friends are parting at the kiddy table. In the parade you are the opening leader of the marching band where you show off your shiny horn sucking and blowing it loudly.
Taurus: Thanksgiving dinner carving up the meat is your job …yet be careful that you don’t slice yourself too thin and end up not having enough to go all around. You sit next to your mom’s third cousin who spits food while he speaks and releases enough gas to light the stove but you suffer through cause he the dude with the kind bud. In the parade you do 30 hours of community service for a little mistake you packed in your briefcase… you’re assigned to clean up after the Clydesdale horses.
Gemini: Thanksgiving dinner you’re having a spirited conversation with yourself on the pros and cons of yams when your father gets up, smacks you on the back of your head and says it’s rude to talk with your mouth full. You’re not sitting next to anyone because there aren’t enough seats so you hold your plate and hover around the table like a satellite around the earth. In the parade you’re in the crowd near the announcer’s microphone where your idle chatter disrupts the announcer forcing him to ask you to kindly shut the fuck up.
Cancer: Thanksgiving dinner you’ve set an insane table, cooked a rock star dinner, your guest are having the most amazing time…that is until someone finds a condom in the pumpkin pie. You sit next to your new flame keeping a watchful eye on your horny aunt who tried to stick her tongue down and dry hump the date you had last year. At the parade you’re responsible for holding onto the Snoopy balloon float but when some kid shoots spit balls at you, you drop your line making the rest if the crew float into the air.
Leo: Thanksgiving dinner you hired a calligrapher to write the invites, reserved the best caterer, and told the hired help to set the table…now all you have to do is put your drumsticks up and let the gravy flow. You sit next to your wealthy great auntie and compassionately discuss her bunions surgery in hopes that she will keep you in the will after you accident’s told her son that he was adopted. At the parade you’re the host of a public access show covering scary marching midgets, in your mind you’re hosting Extra.
Virgo: Thanksgiving dinner you are eager to help set up, clean and serve but your lover gets pissed expressing that you never do that at home or in bed. You sit next to the kitchen door, not only do you take on maid duties you have an eye out to take on the maid. At the parade you’re the volunteer float organizer who stayed up too late the night before color coding your underwear drawer, unexpected you star in the parade because you fell asleep on the Santa’s Sleigh.
Libra: Thanksgiving dinner you feel the need to surround yourself with lots of love…so you invite some old flames over to your feast where you end up being the main course. You sit next to a ex-lover, sparks romantically rekindle as you reach for the same piece of meat, however when they start playing footsie with your father you remember why you ended the relationship. In the parade you are the fresh hot nuts vendor who not only turns a tidy profit but makes a personal sale to someone who wants to truly find out how fresh they are.
Scorpio: Thanksgiving dinner you play with your pop up self timer, until it breaks. Now you can’t get your pop up back up and your guest leaves hungry. No more self basting for you. You sit next to your grandfather and drink an entire bottle of wine while he recounts stories of the D-Day invasion. As he gets to the riveting conclusion of his story, you projectile vomit into his lap. At the parade you find yourself in jail by making the mistake of putting the wrong type of snow up your nose in front of an undercover officer.
Sagittarius: Thanksgiving dinner with many invites to many places, you’re forced to rate invitations by wealth of the host and opt to dine at the one with the biggest portfolio. You sit next to a Minister feeling the need to pour yourself out in confession; unfortunately he stops you mid-sentence explaining that he is leaving the church for a gay lover. At the parade you wander off to find a bathroom and once inside you see your brother-in-law pulling a George Michael.
Capricorn: Thanksgiving dinner you’ve designed everything to the tee and timed to the second, unfortunately you forgot to wind your watch and dinner burnt. You dash to El Pollo Loco in hopes of fooling guest with a traditional Mexican Thanksgiving. You sit next to the family pet because you thought it would be cool to bring a stripper to your parent’s and your father thought it would be cool for you to leave. At the parade you are the cop that keeps the crowd orderly yet you stop to use your night stick on some cute young thang.
Aquarius: Thanksgiving dinner you preach the gospel of love and nonviolence in hopes of making the world a better place, but no one cares, they tell you to stuff it and pass the mashed potatoes. You sit next to your aunt who weighs 300 pounds, fork in hand she tells you about her vacation to a nudist colony where you leave the table quickly. At the parade, you skip the parade and hold a demonstration for The Turkey Right to Life Foundation.
Pisces: Thanksgiving dinner you’re put in charge of the entertainment where you hire the Puppetry of the Penis people which causes your granny to choke on a bone and you have to perform the Heimlich. You sit next to your nerdy uncle who informs you that getting three strikes in a row when bowling is called a turkey…You smile and fantasize of taking a strike at him. At the parade you camp out to be the first there, but when the crowds start to arrive… you’re ready to leave.
Due to some layout typeface error and a BIG LACK of fact checking, my name was put next to a quote in Angeleno Magazine about Paris Hilton’s future that I DID NOT say. Anyone who knows anything about PsychicGirl knows that I do not believe in predicting gloom and doom. When it comes to my work I am known for being incredibly positive and a healer.
Unfortunately people will believe anything they read in black and white. Once something is in print it is almost impossible to take it away.
I’m grateful the magazine is taking responsibility and doing a retraction in the next issue (December) as well as directly letting Ms. Hilton know that they have made this mistake.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
By: Yolanda Shoshana
Keeping it luscious with Justine Kenzer
Word is that psychics are doing pretty good in this bumpy economical time, due to the fact that everyone is trying to figure their next move,
Psychics are everywhere, so where does someone find a good psychic with so many “gifted people” popping up? Let me give it up for Justine Kenzer also known as PsychicGirl. A luscious diva who can help you keep your life luscious!
I recently had a reading with Kenzer,which was a unique reading that was also a healing session. When the reading starts Kenzer tunes into you for the reading and taps into your guides who are there for the duration of the reading to assist you on along the way. The reading dives into the past, present, and future, which is nice because it gives the reading a well rounded feeling not to mention insight.
My questions were mainly focused on School of the Courtisane Moderne, my modern day courtesan school, I wanted to know if I was going in the right direction for business. I got some golden nuggets on where my business is going and which path would be a good one to take. I asked her when I was going to make it to Paris. According to Kenzer, it will be next summer. Coincidentally, I have been talking to Twanna Hines, Funky Brown Chick, about going to Paris.…next summer. Now you know I had to throw in at least on love question (of course), she was dead on about the guy in question.
As Kenzer says on her website, she believes that destiny is not set in stone and we create our own reality. Will everything happen the way she says…maybe or maybe not, only time will tell. I do know that at the beginning of reading she said there was some energy that was stopping me from moving forward and she would clear it during the reading. Since talking to her, my intuition energy flow has been on fire!
Kenzer has been in the business for 20 years and has helped thousands around the world including the rich and famous. She does readings by phone, email, and text so you can live anywhere and everywhere. What is great is that all readings with Kenzer are recorded so you don’t have to stress yourself during your recording that you will forget something important.
Kenzer is diva approved, so check out her luscious website to learn more about her and get told about yourself: www.psychicgirl.com.
JUSTINE KENZER PSYCHICGIRL!
WHERE DO YOU LOOK FOR YOUR ANSWERS?
Sun, 10/25/2009 – 9:58pm
Mondays With Meg
Meg here! I’ve never been one of “those girls” that put really much stock in tarot cards or palm readers or psychics. I do believe in energy though. I think there is something to that whole “manifesting your future” bit.
Like a lot of you, I’ve had a pretty trying year. I don’t go to church but I say my prayers at night. I spend a lot of my time try to figure things out in my head. Too much time trying to make sense of things that are really not suppose to make sense. They just are what they are. When I was little my father would tell me “stop living in your head.”
A lot of the time it is great therapy to have megsmakeup because I can ask you all questions or look for guidance right here. I am never let down by the intelligent and brave answers that you’ll provide not just me but each other with. It’s always a good thing to be open to new experiences and when I got an email from Psychic Girl Justine Kenzer I was very excited to open it.
It’s L.A., I’ve been here for thirteen years. I’m in the loop. I know I said I’m not one of “those girls”, and I’m not. I am definitely 100% percent friends with a lot of “those girls” though. The girls that are always talking about their readings, or feng shui or what “the universe” is telling them. ?I had heard the name Justine Kenzer brought up more then a few times in those conversations
When I went to facebook to “friend” Justine it was no surprise to me that A. We were already friends B. We had more then 20 friends in common. Justine has also been splashed across every magazine from TIME to Glamour so you don’t have to be so into the spiritual world to have heard of her. If you’re in the celebrity world or following the celebrity world then you’ll know she’s the go-to for Teri Hatcher, Carmen Electra and Eva Longoria (just to name drop a few.)
We made an appointment to get together. I answered my door and Justine breezed right in, sat on the couch, took out her recorder and got down to business. Before we started she looked deeply at me. She told me that while she did consider herself a psychic, she really was a healer. With your permission she can stare right at you and see your aura. She saw immediately that my year was a painful one and that there was a rip in my aura. She started to work on healing that. Before she asked me any questions or gave me any answers she took in a deep breath, shook her head a little and said to me “You have got to stop trying to figure out things that can’t be figured out in your head! It’s too much! Stop doing that!”
One hour later she left my house and I guess I can say it. I am now officially “one of those girls.”
Oct 28, 2009, at 6:30 PM, S.P. wrote:
Words cannot begin to express the gratitude I have for your insightful reading and healing. Not only did I receive an emotional healing, but a physical one, too! Before crossing paths with you, just the mere thought of onions and garlic (and anything else from the allicin family) would give me instant heartburn. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I’ve consumed the aforementioned culprits, without any digestive ramifications. I was so sensitive, that a mere fleck of onion, or garlic, powder would catapult me into physical agony. The day after our reading/healing, I decided to chance it and ate my chips with salsa, at lunch. I couldn’t believe it! All that I felt was… full and nourished! I remember telling myself the allergic reaction was just delayed, even hours after lunch. But, I was happily wrong. It’s been a week and I’m still consuming allicin-filled meals, with ease! Jusstine… You. Are. Truly. A. GIFT! I am ever grateful to you… and so is the mint chewing gum industry!
And by the way, I want to thank you for helping me to release the energy in regards to my desires around romantic relationships. It’s amazing not having to deal with that anxiety! Talk about another sense of ease! Thank you, again! – SB
Originally published in FLAUNT Magazine Oct 03
Very Superstitious
Ever felt that you had a spell cast on you, or that you’ve jinxed yourself? Ever watched a horror movie and been so freaked you couldn’t get it out of your head? Ghosts, goblins and gory monsters are all scary. But what is even scarier is the uncharted territory of your unconscious mind and the ability is has to play along with you. You see all the superstitions and fears floating around in the universe only have the power to effect you to the degree that you allow them. So, the next time you find yourself tripping over something you think is bigger than life, try the following spiritual magic. Envision a symbol that represents your “scary” thing. Next watch that symbol get smaller and smaller until it becomes a miniscule dot that you can barely see. Then take an imaginary envelope and place your dot inside of it. Now take your dot on a walk to the nearest make believe mail box, open the shoot, say good bye and let it go. Relax knowing that your “scary” thing is now the property of where little kids send letters to Santa ie: the US Postal Service Recovery System and has absolutely no chance of ever finding you again…A trick and a treat!
Aries: How you’re superstitious: You show brave to the public, but once a black cat crosses your path in your pocket and you’ll find a rabbit’s foot, a four leaf clover, and an old fortune predicting money, sex and power. Bump in the night: In the dark you fear no evil and bump deeper into any void you encounter. Scary movie role: Count Dracula, you are the leader of all vampires, and half dead who party with you till the break of dawn.
Taurus: How you’re superstitious: You throw salt over your shoulder in order to ward off bad luck. You fear not being taken seriously and take whatever measures to protect yourself. Bump in the night: You bump your head repeatedly against the headboard in the night, but that’s a small price for the evening’s naughty entertainment. Scary movie role: You are Jason in the Friday the 13th, you know the strong silent murderous type just looking for someone to love.
Gemini: How you’re superstitious: Intellectually you are analytical about anything that reeks of superstition. You rationalize that you don’t walk under ladders because you are too smart. Bump in the night: A natural conversationalist you are an expert with your tongue, in the dark your lover goes bumping throughout the night. Scary movie role: You are both Norman Bates and his Psycho mother, one moment you’re kind and gentle, the next you’re a homicidal maniac.
Cancer: How you’re superstitious: You love your homey hearth finding comfort surrounded by your potions, candles, and books of incantations to ward off evil and stray Jehovah Witnesses. Bump in the night: Having a good memory you know your way around in the dark and only bump into those people’s places you desire. Scary movie role: Boil, toil and trouble you are the Witch behind the cauldron cooking up a nasty brew for any who dares trespass.
Leo: How you’re superstitious: You spend time gazing at your reflection in the mirror, and worry about the seven years of bad luck for throwing that mirror at a past lover. Bump in the night: You vibe enthusiasm and magnetism in the light, in the dark you fantasize about your admirers bumping into one another to spend the night with you. Scary movie: You are the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera wooing your leading lady and killing all who would oppose your carnal desires.
Virgo: How you’re superstitious: Exacting and critical you don’t look at your superstitions as such, to you they are just the things that make you special. Bump in the night: When you bump in the night you have a hard time not getting up and straightening up the place just in case other company might come over and join in. Scary movie role: Born to serve, you’re the dutiful Igor from Frankenstein who is always ready to give the good doctor an eager good hand.
Libra: How you’re superstitious: While you spend your time focused on others your greatest fear and superstition is being buried alive. Not to worry, your friends plan to put a sexy partner in your box with you. Bump in the night: You don’t like being alone, in the dark that feeling only intensifies, so you hold on to your partner and ride out the very bumpy night together. Scary movie role: You are Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, surmising that two heads are better than one.
Scorpio: How you’re superstitious: You see the world in a black and white, it is what it is. Yet, every Friday the 13th you are afraid to leave the house. You call in sick and spend the day in bed. Bump in the night: The probing mind loves the dark where every bump provides a new place to probe. Scary movie role: Always dead serious you are one of the zombies from the film Night of the Living Dead, looking for someone new delicious to eat.
Sagittarius: How you’re superstitious: Free and easy is your life, with knowledge being the key–but when you hear some bad news that happen to a friend your fist is knocking wood. Things that go bump in the night: You love to ponder the meaning of life, in the dark you bump into the origin of life over and over again. Scary movie role: You see yourself as the great philosopher just as the Werewolf did before a full moon changed him into a horny howling beast.
Capricorn: How you’re superstitious: You tend to cross your fingers when you’re hoping for something or someone to happen…while you keep your legs uncrossed just incase it actually does. Bump in the night: You bump your head in the dark against the wall lamp looking for your wallet to pay for your night of bumping. Scary movie role: On the stubborn side and wrapped too tight for your own good, you are The Mummy, and decide you’re going to try bondage.
Aquarius: How you’re superstitious: You confront your superstitions head on, yet you can’t come to grips with the believe that if you touch yourself down there you’ll go blind or grow hairy palms. Bump in the night: Your social conscience for mankind goes out like a light once you’re in the dark, then you bump and grind your way to greater personal good. Scary movie role: Desiring to make the world better, you are Doctor Frankenstein, a little more concentration on the monster and less on your beautiful assistant.
Pisces: How you’re superstitious: You don’t believe in garlic stopping Vampires, but you won’t go walking on a grave for fear you might wake up the dead. Bump in the night: You may be afraid of the dark, but you don’t mind the bumps in the night or for that matter the bumps in the day. Scary movie role: Your secretive nature makes you a perfect Jack in The Shining, because you know that all work and no play makes Jack a very dull Jack.
