FLAUNT JUNE JULY 02
ITALIAN

I used to live, work and drink in San Francisco, North Beach to be exact. The closest you can get to Italy from the West Coast. I lived in a two story house with three Italian boys, natives who have been friends since Catholic school. During this time I became aware of spirit in more ways than one. By day I learned how to communicate with spirit, developing my abilities at a Berkley meditation center. By night I pushed “spirits” at the ever trendy Savoy Tivoli, an indoor-outdoor-bar-café on Grant Street where Compari with soda, Sambuca on the rocks and lattes with shots of Torani syrup were always in fashion.

At least once a month the boys would cook up what was know as their “wife beater” dinner party. Females were usually not invited to this intimate brotherly fests, however I was granted special attending privileges since I lived in the house. To attend this bash it was mandatory that one adorn a white tank top, known as the “wife beater” and immediately spill Chianti on your chest (which must have been some secret initiation that I was never filled in on.) As Frank’s swanky voice spun from a piece of bad seventies wood turn table furniture, we talked about sex, ate spaghetti, drank red wine and laughed our asses off until were in self-induced carbohydrate comas. Never making it to the party or club we planned to attend after.

Just like a MasterCard commercial, the memories and lessons I took away from those times are priceless. Like lesson number one: Sleeping with your roommates friends might seem like an exciting, enticing idea when you are drunk, but sober is a very different story…

Or lesson number two: Always drink your wine in a glass without a stem. Because really, what idiot in the whatever century way back when came up with the concept of the stemmed glass? Someone who evidently could stop at just one, or who didn’t drink at all. Someone who apparently did not take into consideration that one who is drinking not only has the task of balancing themselves, but trying to steady a glass of stain making liquid perched on a thin glass stilt at the same time.

And lesson number three: Alcohol was originally named “spirits” for good reason. Follow along as I enlighten you with what really happens when you inebriate yourself. You see the more intoxicated you get, the more open you become to receive, and I am not talking about prosperity. Call me the voice of reality, but I’m here to tell you that there is all kinds of stuff flying around out there kids and not all of it is good. Si, there is a big bad battle going on out there, but it’s not over oil, land, or religion, it’s over voi (that's you in Italian.). Light and dark are very real. It is the choice between those two that gives us freewill. When one is sober, one is hopefully very particular about who and what they share their energy with, right? However, the more alcohol you send down your hatch, the easier it is for the darker stuff to come right on in, feed off of and take over you. Possibly you could wake up to discover that while your consciousness was taking a liquid vacation, your body carried out some awfully embarrassing, or tragic event. You are then left holding responsibility for actions you never ever intended on performing, not fun. And last time I checked, being out of body has yet to be an excuse that has gotten anyone off in our lovely legal system.

So if you believe that just because something or someone shows up on your path it’s because it is evidently supposed to be there, it’s time to think again. Sure you can offer free housing to the foreign spirits project if you like, but it might be in your best interest to be a bit more tuned in to the ratio of red wine to blood pumping through your veins and choose not.

Please note that I am in no way trying to put a damper on your partying or implying that it’s time for all of us to join AA. My work forces me to spend so much time getting in my body, there is nothing more that I enjoy than totally getting out! I’m just doing my psychic duty, informing you with tid bits of spiritual truths that you get to decide what you do with all on your own. Solute.

Aries: How you intoxicate: You find a sceney bar and become a regular fixture, drink lots of red wine, or tequila. Season your food: Rosemary, cilantro, and lemon. Take your coffee: a triple shot of espresso, eccellente.

Taurus: How you intoxicate: Stiff, strong and sometimes sweet, an apple martini or Manhattan nice, your taste buds can tell Absolute from Mezzaluna. Season your food: Parsley, oregano and lime. Take your coffee: Caldo Cappuccino.

Gemini: How you intoxicate: You’re a good person to be stuck in an airport bar with, you get your point across to others with a screwdriver, margarita or kaluha, Season your food: Ginger and parsley. Take your coffee: Vanilla nut roast, realmente.

Cancer: How you intoxicate: You love beer, bloody marys and tequila. You make a great party host, your refrigerator is always stalked and ready for guests. Season your food: Basil, garlic and pepper. Take your coffee: Mucho Mocha.

Leo: How you intoxicate: You are a great toast maker, drink top shelf all the way with VSOP, Chivas Regal, Louie or a Bellini. Season your food: Clove, nutmeg and parsley. Take your coffee: Macchiato, magnifi.

Virgo: How you intoxicate: You don't drink without an occasion, drink non-alcoholic beer,and diet coke, when you splurge you drink a cosmo. Season your food: Tobacco, dill, cumin. Take your coffee: Double latte half decaf, half regular with soy, perfetto.

Libra: How you intoxicate: You like clean balanced drinks like gin and tonic, scotch and soda or jack and coke. Season your food: Salt and pepper, garlic and oregano. Take your coffee: Café au Lait, amore.

Scorpio: How you intoxicate: Best choice for a designated driver, but when not your poison would be a stinger of course, beer is your first love, when in need of something stronger you have a shot. Season your food: Garlic, pepper, ginger and curry. Take your coffee: Poco, Breve latte.

Sagittarius: How you intoxicate: Mix now think later, cure your hangover with another drink, and are always open to sampling exotic liqueurs distilled from mangos or lychees. Season your food: salt, cracked pepper, coconut. Take your coffee: Iced, grande.

Capricorn How you intoxicate: Easily mistaken as the owner of the bar, or the lead singer of the band that plays there, you like beer, vodka and coffee drinks. Season your food: Parsley, cilantro, cyanine. Take your coffee: Black with a shot of espresso in esso.

Aquarius: How you intoxicate: You order a pitcher of beer, round of shots and truly believe that you and your friends are all drinking as a team toward world peace. Season your food: Olive oil, garlic and ginger. Take your coffee: Organic raspberry tea, bello.

Pisces: How you intoxicate: You drink like the fish you are, can't resist foofy drinks with paper umbrellas and colored straws like Sex on the Beach, Mai Tai, Pina Colada. Season your food: Rosemary, nutmeg and cinnamon. Take your coffee: Chai tea, merci.