FLAUNT DEC
CONNECT THE EVES
When I was a child, every New Years Eve my parents would ship me off to my
grandmother's so they could bring in the new with their party friends. My
parents were and still are partiers. Little did they know that I knew that
they liked to smoke pot, pig out on gourmet junk food and watch porn. (Ewe,
sometimes I wish I did not know all that I know and see all that I see.)
Note that my parents are far beyond the age where I can give them the
excuse that they were hippies. I used to use reverse psychology on them by
telling them that I worried when they would smoke and drive.
Rripppppppp. Wait; wait a minute. Scratch all that; I'm actually trying to
tell a totally different story here. Let's begin again.
You know how some people can take one thing and connect it to anything, so
that it ends up having some deep esoteric meaning to them? This is going to
sound a lot like that.
Being a psychic, I have heard just about every freaking crazy circus ride
sideshow scenario story that can take place in and around the human, maybe
not so human existence on earth and a few other places too. Normally I'm the
person you come to that makes experiencing the experiences that are really,
really out there make some kind of sane sense in an insane world. Why, I
have been asked to illuminate the mysterious, proliferate the profound, and
help Hollywood find the hidden mysterious meaning of it and to it all. So
you might be surprised to discover that it's also my job to expose the
opposite of all that. I sometimes delicately, and sometimes not so
delicately rationalize that nine times out of ten, playing connect the dots
is just a good game of mind f*ck.
Follow along and connect the dots as we count down a sequence of spiritual events that happen to happen to me. In sharing this with you I realize that I frighteningly end up sounding like one of my own clients. Oh, the sacrifices one makes all in the name of raising consciousness.
Dot 10: New Years had always been an excruciatingly painful event for me. I
had no idea why, but even as I grew up and older no matter where I was or
what I did, Los Angeles, San Francisco, or New York, I just wanted to die,
literally.
Dot 9: Every time I would go on camera, I radiated the raw essence of a deer
in headlights. I don't mean that I didn't have any on camera experience, I'm
talking unconscious-out-of-body-wake her up from her coma deer in headlights
to the point that lead me to believe that something very wrong was wrong
with me.
Dot 8: Taking matters into my own palms, I picked up of all things the
Hollywood Bluebook and found a hypnotist that specialized in helping people
in the entertainment industry with problems. (If that's not an oxymoron.) So
off I went eager to deproblemize myself.
Dot 7: While under the influence, (of hypnosis) which actually was more like
a deep meditation, I experienced a past life regression. I saw specifics
that came through so clear it was like watching a movie in my head. I saw a
woman, an event, I got what year it was, I even got her name. I expected to
see myself in the past being very bad at what I was trying to do now,
instead I saw myself being very good. Hmm, interesting. I didn't know who
the heck she was, but Mr. Hypnosis man said that he did.
Dot 6: Not realizing the profound effect my regression had made on me, I
waited about a month before googleing my newfound supposed past identity.
When I did, astonishingly chronicled in history were the very details I had
got in my regression. HOLY PAST LIFE, I found that this woman who I maybe
was back when, had accidentally killed herself just five minutes before she
was to go on the theatrical stage on New Years Eve! Freak out. Who in the
world could I share this information with who wouldn't think I had gone
absolutely fruit loops?
Dot 5: The next time I went on camera, the deer was far from dead. All of a
sudden being on camera came natural. The show producers said they were
happy. Magically somehow I was transformed into the opposite of girl in coma
on camera. Praise the Lord, PsychicGirl was healed!
Dot 4: That wasn't the only proof and evidence, the next New Years Eve, I
hilariously spent at some young hottie actor boy's house in the hills who
starred in some little movie called the Titanic. (Which lead me to question
if Leo lost his past life on the actual Titanic, but I stopped myself
because he's really not my type and I was just so damn happy that I wasn't
crying in a ditch somewhere wanting to kill myself!)
Dot 3: Obviously, I now had no choice but to obsessively collect every bit
of information on this woman I could find. Let's just say that the number
set in italics beside my username on ebay is in the 3 digits. The more I
discovered about this woman's past, the more unbelievable similarities I
identified with my present self. The kind of stuff that is just too
coincidental to brush off. Like the fact that when this woman died she was
going deaf and when I was born I had such a sensitivity to sound that I
pretty much had to walk around with my hands covering my ears until I was
about seven. This is just one of the countless connections that she and I
share. To this day I find it rather difficult to not believe that we are the
same soul.
2: So we find that sometimes connecting the dots actually can lead to
somewhere like finding a cure to the unexplainable. Yet, I don't suggest
that you all run out and try this at home. Doing so can be known to alter
your consciousness and change your reality as you know it forever.
1: When all else fails, dots are known to make for a handful of colorful
confetti that you can throw up in the air on an eve such as New Years.
On News Years Eve you:
ARIES: Are first to suggest where to go.
TAURUS: Go
on a dreamy date.
GEMINI: Find the most lively crowd.
CANCER: Hang with
family members.
LEO: Get lovey dovey and romantic.
VIRGO: Plan the night's
celebration.
LIBRA: Celebrate over the top extravagantly.
SCORPIO: Become
the life of the party.
SAGITTARIUS: Take a top floor hotel suite.
CAPRICORN:
Dine with colleges.
AQUARIUS: Bungee jump off a bridge.
PISCES: Get naked in
nature.
The dots of stars that connect to make up your sign's constellation are best
seen at 9pm in the month of:
ARIES: December
TAURUS: January
GEMINI:
February
CANCER: March
LEO: April
VIRGO: May
LIBRA: June
SCORPIO: July
SAGITTARIUS: August
CAPRICORN: September
AQUARIUS: October
PISCES: November