FLAUNT AUG 2002
CANDY

Here is some sweet insight for you. My name is Justine and I am an addict, want to get high? Okay, I’m only talking about a sugar high, but as far as addiction goes, is there really that much of a difference between the sweet stuff and heroine? In all honesty, I assume there is a massive difference, however I really couldn’t tell you because I have never actually tried heroine. But sugar, been there, done that, still doing it, God help me.

When I am overcome with a craving, it seems that there is nothing in this world that can stop me from putting some form of sugar into my mouth. When I’m jonesing for a fix, just give me the frosting damn it, so I can jack up my body’s insulin levels and get imbalanced right here and now! You can bet I know how bad it is for me, or that I have consciously chosen to temporarily forget that I will soon after be feeling aggressively aggravated and going completely comatose. It sickens me that something so lifeless could hold that much emotional power over my will, or lack of it. Yet, I’m still left wanting more.

This wicked granulated ingredient is in just about everything we consume. Foods that you would never think. That salami sandwich you ate for lunch, sugar. The sushi you had for dinner last night, sugar. You might as well just open up your throat and poor a bag of sugar straight down it. Why if you start to explore a food label or two for yourself, you will gross yourself out over just what doesn’t contain it!

Who needs drugs when we are unconsciously sleepwalking though life in one big fat sugar induced coma. My psychic conclusion in all this is that sugar is simply pure evil. It is the test that temps our every feasting moment between choosing the light over the dark… and no, I am not talking about chocolate.

If you were a candy you would be:

Aries… a pair of Wax Lips because you are a master of the mouth. You are a smooth talker who can negotiate your way around any circumstance, with a snappy way of chewing someone out if you don't like what they have just said or done unto you. If you are in a blue mood there is no hiding your dreary pout, however when you are happy, your gorgeous smile knocks everyone out.

Taurus…a Gobstopper because you are eternally on a roll. You have quite a reputation for diligently remaining ‘round for a long lasting good time. You have put up with layer upon layer of wet licks and puckering sucks that others could not so easily endure. At times you have had a hard edge or been a jaw breaking ball buster, but you always manage to smoothly and sweetly get exactly what you want.

Gemini…a box of Good N Plenty because you are a high rolling multi-tasker at heart. You dip your hands in a little of this and a little of that. Not everyone has the capability to chew, talk and walk at the same time, but you can handle that as well as any other ingredient that comes your way. Bright and tough skinned on the outside, tender spiciness concealed within, you are one flavorful dichotomy in a shinny variety all your own.

Cancer…a package of Pop Rocks because your spark is much more explosive than your bite. Your brilliant style ignites all the other fish in the sea while you fire off some snazzy, sizzling looks that leave quite a dazzling impression. You are unconsciously motivated by the moon, so when your emotions uncontrollably detonate from your tongue, blame it all on those damn spectacular lunar cycles.

Leo…a piece of Gadiva because you are a natural at soaking up the limelight while showing yourself off on the confection shelf. As your label reads you are the majesty of melting the insides of countless others with just one smooth kiss. Your dark magnetism and rich solidity are no imitation chocolate flavored covered cheep fudge. For you, only being smothered with the most delectable and decadent will ever do.

Virgo…a box of Red Vines because you are a long reliable staple. You are always a popular choice with the viewing crowd. You clearly have made your twisted-ness work for you. The instant anything rubbery persists, you knaw, tear and squish until you can rip through it and cross it off your list. Whenever you are feeling stale, you straightforwardly pull it all together and end up looking perfectly sweet under your wrapper.

Libra …a Payday candy bar because you search for the sugary rewards in every salty circumstance. Your sophisticated path to getting from here to there may drift a float, but you always substantially end up ahead. You are fortified with healthy solid ideals that take you to your nougat fueled financial destiny. You are a gooey romantic that has the power to charm any peanut to crack right out of it's shell.

Scorpio…a box of Hot Tamales because you measure your life by how much passion you feel. Due to your secret sweltering recipe you attract an abundance of interest that sticks. You warm things up by creating a spicy mix of action packed into any game you play. From you exudes such a powerful force that your playmates best be careful to not be burned or scorched by your intense blistering flames.

Sagittarius…a piece of Laffy Taffy because you have the drive and determination to pull absolutely anything off. You bend and mold the stickiest of sour situations into a sweet smelling success. Because of this your travels shall be worldly and stretch to farthest lengths across the earthly globe. When it comes to telling how it is, you openly speak your mind as sour and tart as the truth may be to take, chomp and chew.

Capricorn…a bag of Jelly Bellies because you are packed with an assortment of colorful wisdom. When called upon to take a leap of faith, you are sensible in choosing just when to jump out of the bin. Your hungry ambition leads to savory success that always delivers flavorful fruit. With your practical tastes and feet planted on the ground you are consistently able to bare the beans when promised.

Aquarius…a Peppermint Patty because you are the independent leader in your own tasty pack. Any old sour suckers and cracked lollipops following you, haven't got a bittersweet clue, because the only stock you crave is refreshing and new. Focused on the future you are as cool as they come. Innovative and original, you loyally follow your own course through the dark surface, the mushy middle and foily end.

Pisces…a Ring Pop because you illuminate like a sparkling, crystallized gem. Your fortune gleams from each and every facet in your jewel filled treasure chest. You call not unnecessary attention to yourself by keeping your brilliance and shine tucked behind the counter or locked away in a safe. But your ruby realness and emerald goodness are such and bright light, no combination is ever needed to undo you.